


Odds Are

by Tallulah_Rasa



Series: Crossing Streams [7]
Category: House M.D., Stargate SG-1
Genre: Crossover, Ficlet, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-13 20:49:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2164692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tallulah_Rasa/pseuds/Tallulah_Rasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anything's possible at the SGC.  <i>Almost</i> anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Odds Are

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another in a series of unrelated crossover ficlets, this one involving (once again) House as the new Chief Medical Officer of the SGC.

“Damn it, man, I’m a doctor, not a miracle-worker!” House spit out, leaning over his desk with an air of furious intent.

Teal’c, on the other side of the desk, raised one eyebrow. “I have merely asked you," he said calmly, "for Daniel Jackson’s antihistamines.”

House immediately folded back into his seat. “Oh, I know,” he said, head down as he rooted through his desk drawers.  He tossed out a variety of yoyos, magazines, and wind-up toys before extricating a package with DANIEL JACKSON inked across it in big red letters and tossing it to Teal’c. “I just always wanted to say that.”

“Indeed,” Teal’c said, blinking once and neatly catching the package. “Why?”

This time, it was House’s eyebrows that went up. “I—seriously? _Star Trek_? You don’t know it?”

“I have trekked to many stars,” Teal’c said. “In that time, I have not heard a physician speak as you have. However, Daniel Jackson informs me that the Tau’ri are a diverse people. I may have yet to meet those,” and here Teal’c paused, just fractionally, “like _you_.”

“Right,” House said after a moment. “Well, tell Jackson once a day, preferably with food. And to keep out of the way of zat blasts.”

Teal’c bowed and left House’s office with his usual stately, measured pace, until, after casting a quick look over his shoulder, he ducked into Conference Room 2B.

“How’d it go, T?” Jack asked when Teal’c was safely inside.

“I have retrieved Daniel Jackson’s medication,” Teal’c announced, inclining his head slightly as he handed the package to Daniel, who sniffled, but managed to smile his thanks.

“And…?” Sam urged.

“I believe Dr. House is now under the impression that I have never seen _Star Trek_ ,” Teal’c said, with an impassive expression that everyone in the room knew denoted wild-eyed glee.

Money began changing hands immediately, Sam grumbling, “ _Seriously_? He bought _that_?” while Jack muttered, “Why do I bet against you people?”

Daniel fumbled the proffered bills, as he was trying to wipe his nose while collecting his cash, but Teal’c tucked his winnings neatly into his pocket.  
“This pastime is, indeed, beginning to lack challenge,” he observed. “It is, as you would say, like wresting sweetmeats from an infant.”

“Candy from a baby,” Daniel corrected absently over his beeping pager, and then “Oh! The artifacts from P-231 are here!” He left the room hurriedly, eyes still on his pager, mumbling all the while about the variable striations of embedded rock formations on the planet and their implications for something or other.

Jack and Sam exchanged a look. Jack sighed as he and Sam each added several additional bills to Teal’c’s outstretched hand.

“As ever,” Teal’c said, smiling widely, “it is pleasant conducting commercial operations with you."

"I think you mean--" Sam started, but Jack turned on her and hissed, "Carter!"

"You were saying...?" Teal'c

"You're not getting another word out of us," Jack said.

"Undomesticated equines," Teal'c said, nodding sagely.

"Indeed," Sam said.

END


End file.
